From Our Vaults
These are actual responses we have received from our readers over the years.
Now our emails are here for your voyeuristic pleasure.
The emails below are unedited any errors were contained in the original emails.
I Heart Idiots:
Few emails have made me ponder just how lame people are as much as the following one did:
I heart Jeffrey Dahmer
And Jeffrey hearts you, too. He hearts you so much that he drugs you, drills a hole in your forehead, and then hearts you some more!
Murder rape makes me cum. Give us more gory pictures of rotting carcasses!
What the hell is wrong with you?!?!
I don’t like how ya’ll talk about PAUL CASTELLANO so chili the fuck out.
How exactly does one chili the fuck out? Is the chili do damn hot it take the fuck out of one? I don’t think my fiancé would appreciate it if you chillied the fuck out of me.
You know you love us:
I have been roaming around this site for a weeks now, without bothering to look at the authors, till today. I am most surprised to find two people who look like you do (I was expecting half a dozen or more weird guys) could prepare something as good as this.
This is about the best site that I have found for info on gangsters, with only crimelibrary coming close. Congrats and thanks for doing such a great job.
And your point would be?
Important “conspiracy theories” that you missed:
O.J. Simpson Frame
AIDS and Ebola
Death of Walter Reuther
Martin Bormann’s Nazi Group
Death of JFK, Jr.
Nazis Paperclip Émigrés
Mountain View, CA
An important point YOU forgot…. We don’t care!
My theory on coincidence:
Did you ever see the bible as a record book? Maybe u should do a conspiracy about the bible…heres the deal…how do we know that what is in there ie true…because we only kno whut we kno because of 1 man who wrote this book…how do we kno that he isnt lying about the whole thing? If u break it down it really is a record…1st;its tells us how we began…God created light..i.e science’s big bang theory? hmmmm coincidence? Dont know. Also it tells that the world will be destroyed by fire….by discovery channels/wing channels/tlc channels reports allegedly there is going to be a comet striking extremely close to the earths surface…so how can u not say the bible is a record book.Please write me back and tell me what you thnk.
It is my idea that people find the coincidences they want to find. Let me give you an analogy:
Mark made a spice rack in woodshop.
Jesus was a carpenter.
Therefore: Mark is Jesus.
It isn’t the eagle, Mr. Bowman:
By the way, in relation to the Oklahoma City Bombing, would you be interested in plugging my book, “When the Eagle Screams – America’s Vulnerability to Terrorism”?? It predicted the bombing and a whole lot more. Stephen Bowman
By the way… NO.
More shameless self promotion:
Cool Site! A special on The Hillside Stranglers will begin airing on TLC June 9th, 10th, ect… im in it, I play Buono. Would you like me to email you cast and director info? The director is pretty big in UK. It already aired in UK as “Super Sleuth”. It is a serial killer series. Reply if interested and I’ll email you all the info if you’d like to post it on your site. Thanks
Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
Do you want a cookie?
We had to piece this one together… I wouldn’t punish you with the entire letter… found you site by accident, and I love it. Am slowly reading all the infobits. As Phillip the Macedonian is my personal hero, I love the stuff about Alexander.
About your God stuff. Please be careful here. God does, absolutely, unquestionably exist and I have had the great honor to have met him, which probably ranks me with Attila the Hun, Muhammed, Zoarathustra, and looney tunes. (We will go with the last one) Nonetheless, give me a moment. (Must we?)
Life is miraculous. It is against all the laws of entropy. Even if a hot soup did spring from nothing, by what power would life “evolve”, when entropy is a visable universal law. Systems break down, they do not evolve into wonderful and virtually unimaginable complexities of lifeforms. Life is beyond improbable, it is impossible to explain, were it not for the very fact that life is what the creation is about. A theatre for the souls to experience & play in…. (Can someone tell me what this guy is talking about?)
So be careful what you say. You cannot find God in a Church, Mosque, Temple, or anything else you can think of. Religions are built for God…Anyhow, to rake religion is only truth, but to deny God is virtual suicide. (This letter makes me want to “deny him”) Still, it is not a good idea to try to teach a pig to sing, as it wastes your time and irritates the pig. So I will say no more.
Love your site.
If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance…baffle them with bullshit.
Are you my mother?
Believe it or not, we get a lot of letters like this one:
You page is excellent. It was the first page which gave me a bit more information on Jake Guzik, who has been of geneological interest to me. Well Jake happens to be my deceased mother’s first cousin, and his only living relative in the U.S. at the time of his death. In the 1950s when I was in my teens, the Illinois Attorney General representative were searching for mother for some reason but failed in their attempt. They did however contact my Guzik cousins in N.E. PA but my mothers whereabouts were not revealed, although she lived a few blocks away and used her marriage name. Their purpose in searching for my mother has bugged Jake’s living US second cousins, which includes myself. I do know that Jake spent one night when he was on the lamb in our house in PA. My mother told him only one night only.
Now your article says he was born in Moscow–tis not so. Whatever his records state he was born in Galicia (at that time it was under the Austro-Hungarian Empire and is Polish, essentially he is from a small village south of Cracow. His father is my uncle. His being Jewish was a suprise to us. I read this from a book published on infamous Jewish of Chicagoland. If he were Jewish, his father certainly wasn’t. Do you know if he had an estate of whatever value when he died and could, in your opinion, this be the reason the Illnois authorities were looking for my mother. Thanks for taking you time. Enjoyed your page.
What? We didn’t read anything past “your page is excellent.”
(You have to give this guy some credit… his story is too convoluted to be made up.)
And yet another poor confused soul…
I am trying to find a genealogical link between myself and Paul Castellano. My mother is the daughter of Anthony Castellano of Rochester, PA. She believes we are related, and I would appreciate any information regarding his ancestry.
He is your great great uncle once removed on your father’s mother’s side. Now that you know, you life is probably now complete, and you can stop asking stupid questions of people that really don’t care about your family.
I really feel that his response to that was absolutely GREAT:
Thanks for the information, but you don’t have to be an asshole. What the fuck crawled up your bitter ass? Excuse me for using a public domain that openly invites questions and comments. By the way, it is impossible for him to be related to me on my father’s mother’s side, so maybe you should get your shit straight before you start acting like you’re such hot shit einstein.
The fact that he felt the need to JUSTIFY that my answer just could not be correct, even though I really just pulled it out of my ass was just perfect.
Aren’t you brilliant?
i like your site and i’m writting a book that i need a publisher for and I thought that you might be interested in it. it’s called “THOUGHTS OF AN ANGERED YOUTH ” I HAVE ALREADY GOT IT COPY RIGHTED WELL A POOR MANS COPYRIGHT I MAILED IT TO MYSELF AND I HAVEN’T OPENED THE EVELOPE WELL LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO
Although we aren’t sure what you want, we do know that you have been watching too much Back to the Future..
Puff the Magic Dragon?
Please put up something about the english journalist that wrote a book about a higher race. The race was lizards that could take human form.
It is a conspiracy.
What made it conspiracy? and What are you smoking?
Here is what we wrote up about the “Lizard Race:”
As everyone who lives in a cabin in Montana already knows, Freemasons run this country, and rule the rest of our Hemisphere in conjunction with Quebec Gnomes. Therefore, the question that remains to be answered is who rules the other portions of our planet? After several diligent hours of research and a trip to the titty bar I am now ready to present my theory over who controls Europe… the shape-shifting psychic Lizards from planet 5964 of the Widis Galaxy.
In 1862 a Lizard spaceship crashed in French territory that was under the supervision of a secret society of Zurich Midgets. The spaceship was a tanker carrying fuel to the distant Lizard colony, and the reason behind the crash was a drunken captain. The Midgets quickly allied themselves with the Lizards, since the Lizards were only five feet tall. The Lizards, for their part, were impressed with planet Earth and agreed that it must be added to the Lizard Protectorate.
In 1864 the colonization fleet arrived and made landings at: Bavaria, England, and Russia. Or to be more precise: Munich, Essex, and Tsaritsyn. In Bavaria, the Lizards came into contact with the secret society of Illuminati, in England they encountered the Masons, and in Russia they met total lack of civilization. In 1865, Lizards assisted the Zurich Midgets in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, who as we know was very, very tall. The American Freemasons, who were very angry at this, instructed their English colleagues to destroy the Lizards, but after a series of complex power plays, the English Masons broke with Americans and became a member of the triple Alliance together with Lizards and Midgets. In 1900 this Alliance destroyed the Bavarian Illuminati. The Illuminati were broken into Thuringian Scouts, Iron Guard Movement, and Thule Society. In 1914, the Alliance decided to expand their power and precipitated a World War. In 1917, Alliance was very surprised that Lenin’s Russian revolution occurred, since none of them officially sponsored it. English Masons blamed the Lizards, who in turn were highly suspicious of the Midgets. Although the Midgets did provide some funds to Lenin, the bulk of Lenin’s money came from the Thuringian Scouts, who wanted to create a new alliance in Eastern Europe to oppose the Alliance of the West. After a long and bitter conflict, the Alliance disintegrated due to suspicion and lack of trust among the participants.
At the end of World War 1, Thule Society discovered a talented paper hanger with one testicle and after changing his name from Schicklegrubber to Hitler, threw their support behind his takeover of Germany. The Thuringian Scouts concentrated on supporting Stalin in Russia (following the assassination of Lenin by an agent of the Midgets). The Iron Guard Movement went underground in preparation for new and sinister plans. The Zurich Midgets threw their considerable monetary support behind the Italian fascist Benito Mussolini, who as we know was very, very short. English Masons declared war on American Freemasons, and were promised help by the Lizards. During a crucial battle for control of American Presidency, the Lizards betrayed the English Masons and supported their enemies. As the result of this last minute change of alliances, the English Masons were wiped out. In 1923, Lizards assisted the Zurich Midgets in getting Mussolini in power, while secretly supporting Thuringian’s candidacy of Stalin. In 1941, Lizards precipitated war between Russia, Germany and Italy to destroy the Thuringian Scouts, Thule Society and the Zurich Midgets. During the war, Zurich Midgets and Thule Society briefly allied together to depose Thuringian Scouts, but did not know that Lizards secretly were shipping weapons to the Scouts. To make the long story short, Thule Society was wiped out in Germany along with Hitler, Mussolini was killed by Midgets for failing to live up to their promises, and Stalin (with some help from Lizards) turned on his Thuringian supporters and had them eliminated.
Zurich Midgets, for some reason or another, allied themselves again with Lizards. Together they assassinated Stalin in 1953 (officially recorded as death by natural causes, but we know better!) to put Nikita Khrushchev into power in Russia, who as we know was very, very short.. and bald & fat & stupid. Next, Lizards betrayed the Zurich Midgets during the Cuban Missile Crisis, by supporting American Freemasons’ backed President Kennedy. In the power struggle that followed, Zurich Midgets were destroyed by their own failures and traitors that infiltrated their organization. The remnants of Midgets had no choice but to leave Europe and relocate into Canada, thus forming the above mentioned Quebec Gnomes. In Europe it appeared that Lizards were the only powerful secret society left. Contrary to popular rumors, the Lizards did not participate in the Kennedy Assassination. However, they were responsible for the second term of the Reagan presidency as part of an overall attempt to destroy America.
In 1986, the completely forgotten Iron Guard Movement came back roaring with a vengeance. They unleashed an instrument of terror so horrendous that to look upon it would rip the very sinew of your soul; they called their dark creation – “Howard the Duck”. American Freemasons were not prepared for this, and were forced to make an alliance with Quebec Gnomes to stop this terrifying weapon from spreading more chaos than it already caused. For their part, Lizards of Planet 5964 of Widis Galaxy did not know how to react, on the one hand the terror was only affecting Americans, on the other the instigators of this new tool of fear were located in Europe… technically their domain. Lizards temporized, they offered assistance to American Freemasons, but did not move against Iron Guard. In 1989, Lizards paid for their arrogance when the Iron Guard Movement released a new weapon of mass destruction so awful that it nearly ruptured the very fabric of space and time with the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity – Debbie Gibson. Even the Lizards were disturbed by the utter lack of talent and complete tone deafness of Debbie, and quickly moved in to dismember and destroy Iron Guard Movement.
I would tell you what happened in the last decade, but I just don’t trust you enough for now to reveal that kind of information.
The Ebonics Theory…
Very interesting Page! It answered me a lot of questions about some well known serialkillers. (Did it learn you too?)
Thanx a lot!
I’m coming back! Where did you go?
Matthias from Germany Germany… That explains it all. Aren’t you glad they didn’t win the war?!
Not such good pals, are they?
I have to include the following letter as a warning. Like some of our theories, we don’t know if it is true or not, but we are putting it out there.
I think you site is wonderful and i have made it a favorite but i have a big favore to put to you. There are very serious issues of privacy at the Paltalk chat program. I was the victim of it as were a few others. It is owned by a man named Jason Katz, and we suspect he or someone in the program is giving private inforamtion about me and others to a person called BADLARRY (paltalk nickname). We think Larry( Joseph ) could be Jason Katz relative but we can find nothing on this. I am desperately looking for help in this area . I have no idea what their motive is for this but other than to discredit me. ( I have been ban from the program for life.) Please any help you can give on this would be most helpful in our fight againsts the corruption. Thank you Sorceruss
Bad, Bad Larry!
Another enemy of BADLARRY:
i would love to find out who wrote the text about paltalk as I have a lot of information as to the privacy issues on that program …..email me at the above address…thank you
In another message she writes:
regarding paltalk and or Jason Katz…i have some information on these as well as BADLARRY….would love to compare information ….
In case you want to email her: email@example.com
Bad Bad Bad Larry!
Step back from the computer
I can’t belive how people can kill other people for no reason at all. I hate even killing a fly sometimes. And now humans?
I think getting people like you off the internet is a matter of more pressing urgency!
Sick, yet pleased
That is siick but it please me.
Very happy to have made you happy, my good sir. May Lucifer guard you all the rest of your days.
it is a lovly site ,but i need a contact. A contact for what?
i want u to link me, i want to become a MAFIA and own my organization, pls pls pls .
To link you to what?
Please i want u to link me to any MAFIA. Made DON.
I’d suggest another line of work for you. Your lack of coherence and clarity could lead to some situations that you are quite unprepared for. On second though, maybe that’s just what the world needs; a few less idiots who can’t find a spell check button to save their lives.
Just in case there is somebody out there that does know what this person wants, feel free to contact Walter at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Alert Child Protective Services!
i sent u and email and i forgot to give u mine, please put your kids up for adoption.
Alas we never got the chance to give up our children because while on a cruise, a band of savage Taiwanese pirates shanghaied the boat and stole our children, intending to make them exotic prostitutes in the seediest back allies of Hong Kong. Instead their ship sank and our babies died.
C’est La Vie.
“Beware the beast man, for he is the Devil’s Pawn”
Goddamn what an awful site! I mean how can some pissed off assholes like you write about all this shit? It’s amazing to see how much you now about these persons. (When not remembering that half of your information is wrong or made up or whatever)I’ve also gone through your rant and some of your answers were really surprising concerning ways to improve this piece of shit called ”site”. I mean writing things like “we just don’t care” and so on isn’t cool and doesn’t increase the size of your penis(keep tryin’!)But the worst thing you did was to call “Markus from Germany” a nazi! Just because he’s from Germany doesn’t mean he’s one of yours! Just think about these things (I’ve you’re able to) and when you’ve got you answer ready stick it up your ass.
Yours very sincerely
Hey, Cornelis. That was the name of one of the chimps from Planet of the Apes.
Coincidence? I think not.
Your very own conspiracy theory:
I was just wondering why under the list of serial killers Charles Manson was not listed. No complaining, just wondering.
You see, he’s actually on there. It’s just that your computer is involved in a vast conspiracy to keep information away from you because if you were to magically grow a brain you’d be quite dangerous.
How can I please you? My master…
I have seen a egguisit site today and I would like to see the Napoleonic code and other features. Gorge
What else would you like, Gorge? A foot rub, a blow job, perhaps a naked Angelina Jolie dancing while raining hundred dollar bills over you?
Anything else you want? Anything at all?
After all, this website was created simply for your enjoyment.
People will believe anything:
First off, let me just explain to those of you who do not know the story behind the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The WRITER and DIRECTOR, Tobe Hooper, stated in an interview that the story is NOT true, and Leatherface is based upon the Serial Killer Ed Gein. Now that being said:
yo i dont know what the fuck yall are thinking but that shit is a true story and i bet yall are thinking how would i know….well first off im Thomas Brown Heiwtt’s 3rd cousin…the only thang that aint true in that movie is Thomas getting his arm cut of….him and my dad use to hang wiht each other whne dey was lil…so before yall say somehting aint true u need to go and find some shit out…
Cool, did he fuck Jessica Beil? I bet he did. Yo, your 3rd cousin musta been da shit!
Something just hit me – with so many visitors on your great website – may some of them are/or will be serial killers. I read once that they focus and even copy other family serial killers. It is a very sad but interested fenomen – how far individuals may go in their evilness.
Why do you think we created this site, if not to help the burgeoning mass murders on their rocky road to infamy.
Lord Tampaxion… We Salute You
To all who had any part in the making of this site I applaud you. This site is amazing… never have I seen someone brave enough to make such a site as this. Thank you!
Yes, we are terribly brave, aren’t we? Everyone knows that websites are conduits to a vast netherworld, ruled by the evil Lord Tampaxion who makes everyone have a period…
Kids, don’t let this happen to you:
i like this web site ceap it up because it need it fore an progete i have to do a fames Eoplorer and i cohs Francisco Pizarro.lauran wagner
Dear Lauran Wagner,
We regret to inform you that you are a garbled, incoherent idiot. Please consider spell check and a brain in ALL your future endeavors.
Have a nice day.
In case you wanted proof of how stupid people in Belgium are… Here you go!
Hey I am gorpy I’m a 19yr old boy from Belgium I was born on august 12th 1985.
I wanted to know if maybe you could mahe a mafia story about me?
I’m a member of Gamano (it’s a game)
You know a high killer is buzy to build his way up in the mafia business….
Send it to BHF_PIONEER@hotmail.com
If you want to do it
PS the game is http://www.barafranca.com/index.php
PS if you don’t wonna make a story email me 2 so I can start crying
PS a foto of me is http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v352/gorpy/godfather-II.jpg
Email me: BHF_PIONEER@hotmail.com
No response needed…
Mommy didn’t love you:
Just found, it want more. But cant get it until I;m accepted.
You will never be accepted, so I guess that means you will never get it. We are just too good for you.
What the hell is wrong with US?
This was in response to a posting about other alternatives to the Death Penalty:
What the hell is wrong with you people? Have you attended church ONCE in your life? Those suggested alternatives to the death penalty are morally wrong and abuse life. Most people would rather die with their dignity than die working their ass off on a farm without pay. Sex offender… Nail their dick to a tree? What the hell… theres something call castration…..
Once you post something that isnt complete in-your-face bullshit, I might look again.
Silly jack-ass. God wrote this website while I was in a trance fueled by hours of crack use, gambling and rough sex with underage prostitutes.
Great Halloween ideas:
For Halloween me and my girlfriend are going to go as hitler and braun
Where can we get outfits that look like them
I am sure that they sell Nazi uniforms at the surplus stores in Germany. Maybe Markus from up above can help you out with that!
Hey!! I’ve read the e-mails people are sending you, with a lot of usefull material. Maybe you don’t think so, but what the heck.. what’s bothering me a little is.. When you reply to people’s mails you somewhat offensive… like calling the german dude a nazi.. and stuff like that! But great site!
NO….. We are completely offensive. Thing is, we don’t care. If you don’t like it, click the “X” in the top right corner of your screen.
More Mafia stories…
I was just curious – when I was young – my parents moved to Utica, NY and I became close friends with two young boys names Anthony and Jonny Anastasia. They lived with their grandfather, last name I remembered being Melito, Meledo – something like that. I knew that boy’s father lived in NY and would sometimes come to visit them. Would this father person be Albert Anastasia’s brother? I wonder what has happened to the 2 brothers since I moved away from Utica in the mid 1960s. Thanks
Yes it is probably them. Now that you know, they will probably come after you and your family.
Run…… Hide…. NOW!!!
Why are you asking me?
I am trying to put together a fun even for my school and the Lehi Historical hospital and the Parck city prison seemed really interesting and I was wondering about how much it would cost for about 26 people to go to one of those events or any of the events?
7 million dollars.
In all seriousness, how the fuck am I supposed to know? I mean you can obviously use a computer, therefore I suggest you do a simple Google search and stop asking people to do your work for you.
Video game… History book…. Same thing
As a gamer, I like to play historical games. And with it, one of my main hobbies are reading history along with living and watching it in video games and in movies. All I got to say is your Greatest Military Leaders page is very inaccurate and I suggest revision. Otherwise, you’re gonna get bombarded with hate mail. Nice job with the rest of the site though.
Well, video games are the same as history books. So I will surely take your suggestions seriously.
Put the book down:
Hey I just wanted to tell what great website but I do have questions for you. In my English class we are reading the OTHELLO by William Shakespear and my English teacher assigned us a project on Othello with a mafia twist to it and I was wondering if it sounds like an ok idea. I also wanted to know is the language mafias use and what mafia movies do you recommend.
I hope to here from you soon!
Seeing as how you can’t even spell Shakespeare, I implore you to not attempt any foray into literature.
Our knowledge knows no bounds:
How do you know all this stuff?
The angel of the gods appeared to me in a dream and filled me with all knowledge. I even know where you live.
Let’s try beginning with a coherent thought
Nice place. It was Emily emily drove syd’s scitzophrenia, if u dont know what i’, speaking of forget about it. i cant say anymore on ormis. research it . pam killed ji, reagen and stephen king murdered lennon. the devil will walk the earth in 2014 as he tried to in ’57. stay out of new jerse forests. be more scared then youve ever been . our fellow man will bring us down. take every word serious this is no joke youre the ones who can speak my truths. I will contact you again soon.to ask me something post it on the site, I’ll look
When the hawk flies at midnight, know that the fat man walks alone. *wink**wink*
Also, beware the Ides of March.